AYAME'S QUEST TO KILL THE CAT!
by Rei And Val
Summary: A really messed-up murder story that came to our minds for no apparent reason. BUT IT FEATURES A SHIRTLESS AYAME SO Y'ALL THAT LUV HIM CAN BE HAPPYFUL!


So Sadako limped forward towards Ryuji. Ryuji laid there on the ground, panting in fear, sweat building up all over him. Sadako took another step forward. "Please." Ryuji begged. "Don't kill me..save me for the crappy American remake!"  
Sadako took another limp forward. She raised her head a bit. Ryuji knew his death was coming. He cowered in fear, attempting to look away from the hair-covered face that would spell his doom, but for some reason he couldn't. "No.NO!!" screamed Ryuji.  
It was then that Sadako's hair parted. BUT, to everyone's surprise, she didn't have an eyeball that's all freakish and makes you scream! NO! She had a pimple! And that pimple spoke in a low eerie voice to the viewers. "Rei and Val do not own Furuba.."  
  
Then Ryuji couldn't handle the pain of staring at Sadako's hideous pimple so he died.  
  
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU  
  
And so, Kyo drank his soda. He drank it. With all the power of a thousand suns. Oh how he drank that soda. Then..something miraculous happened. He burped.  
  
That burp was a very powerful burp. It sent shockwaves all throughout the Souma no Honke until the shockwaves attacked a random Souma. That random Souma just happened to be Ayame.  
  
The snake flew backward from the impact of Kyo's burp. He landed on his rumpers on the ground. Gasping in pain from that scary burp, he naturally placed his hand atop his head to make sure his precious hair was still there. But, to his chagrin, it WASN'T.  
  
Something terribly wrong had just happened to our dear Ayame Souma.  
  
Not that we care.  
  
But there are many Ayame fans reading this, so we'll decide not to just kill him right there and get it over with. Instead..we'll make him suffer.  
  
So he suffered. As we suffered. When our foot got chopped off. Not that it ever did, but that's okay. Ayame's hair was GONE. Swept right off his head. Please, readers, feel his pain! Understand how this poor man feels!  
  
You don't have to if you don't want to. But if you do want to care about Ayame, then do it with due respect and give us some cookies.  
  
Days passed. Weeks possibly. But Ayame had no idea of the time. He didn't care of the time. He..only cared about his baldity.  
  
It was then that Ayame realized Kyo needed to die.  
  
Kyo's burp had cost him his true love, his hair, so now Kyo deserved equal punishment.  
  
Ayame set out that night wearing disturbing tightpants that please some readers, but unfortunately not us, because we don't like Ayame. Although it was a cold night, Ayame wasn't wearing a shirt, just to please the happy-go- lucky fangirls. Or fanboys.  
  
Quietly he snuck out the back door, not making a sound. He could have just opened the main doors, but no, he had to CLIMB over that fence. And he climbed. Oh how he climbed. He climbed Ayame-style. Which means slithering up the steepness while wiggling his ass and flapping his arms while declaring "I'm a naked molerat!"  
  
Finally he jumped down to the other side of the estate's gates, with all the fangirls reading dying of giggles from the wiggles. He ran onward.  
  
Onward he went. Normally here I'd say "with his silvery hair flowing behind him" but no. Because Ayame is bald. A lot of fangirls are mad at us now. Because they think one of the sexiest things about Ayame is his beautiful hair.  
  
So we gave Ayame a wig. It was made of ferns though, so it's kind of cheap- looking. But that's okay.  
  
NOW THEN..  
  
Onward he went, his ferny wig flowing in the cold midnight wind. Ayame, to compliment his wig and tight-pants, was wearing a vicious smirk like a flower-girl.  
  
Finally he reached Souma Shigure's humble housey. He slunk in through the bathroom window. Knowing exactly where Kyo's room was because he's a psychic person or he's a Kyo-yaoi person, he scurried in silently.  
  
Kyo was sleeping soundly on his futon, little snores erupting out of his nostrils. Now is my chance, Ayame thought, grinning with an evil grin that y'all thought only Akito was capable of.  
  
He unsheathed the knife. It's time to end this! Ayame drawled. He grasped the knife's handle tightly in his pale hand, and rose it above Kyo's unsuspecting chest."Goodbye Kittyman!" he whispered evilly, and he stabbed Kyo with a repulsive splash of blood flying everywhere.  
  
"That isn't blood!" yawned Kyo, who had somehow awakened. "That's ketchup!"  
  
Suddenly a rabid Pikachu scurried in and slurped up all the splattered ketchup with a sickening smack, then high-tailed it out of the room.  
  
"What?!" an outraged Ayame shouted. "I stabbed you with a knife! How are you still alive?!"  
  
Kyo yawned and stretched. "The real question is why are you in my room?"  
  
"No," Ayame argued. "The REAL question is why do you sleep with a bottle of ketchup?!"  
  
"My sex life is none of your business!" the Kittyman yelled back.  
  
Suddenly the entire room was filled with an air of tension. Y'know why? Cuz Yuki came in. And when Yuki comes in, everything's all tensionized. Whatever that means.  
  
"Get out of here, ototo-san/kuso nezumi!" the two shouted simultaneously. But Yuki refused. Oh, how Yuki refused. He refused with elegance, yet with anger. LIKE AKITO!!! But different. "I'm not going to leave," Yuki squealed. "I want to see what's going on here! NOW!"  
  
"Nothing's going on here, Rat! Now tell your brother to leave me alone so I can finish doing what I was doing with the ketchup!" "NEVAAAAAA" Yuki screamed and he attacked Kyo. This was the perfect opportunity to KILL THE CAT!! thought Ayame. (sorry about how its skipping lines the microsoft word is being a freak) So Ayame moved in for the attack. But we're going to leave you hanging. You'll never know if Kyo dies or not until the next chapter of "AYAME'S QUEST TO KILL THE CAT!!" UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU r&r peez 


End file.
